Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve felt the urge to chat up an astronomer but didn’t quite know where to start? Well as a planetary scientist I can assure you this must be a common issue because it is very rare I get approached in a bar and fed a cheesy line. Ahem.
Well fear no more. Below are are some of the Internet’s finest, cheesiest and cringiest pickup lines to lure an astronomer away from their Newtonian refractor and into your underwear. If you ever see me propping up a bar somewhere, feel free to utter one of these to get my attention.
Hey, how’d you like to recreate the big bang?
You’re so attractive, the gravitational disturbance is causing my galactic centre to elongate.
Hey, wanna come to my place and observe something else that’s constantly expanding?
Girl/boy are you a black hole? Because you’re infinitely hot and I can’t resist your pull.
Hey girl/boy, I’m not just going to show you the world, I’ll show you the universe.
Do you live on Mars? Cos you look out of this world.
Are you interested in space as well? Well, Uranus is my favourite.
Oh my god, I think I’ve just gone supernova in Uranus.
I think you might be a star, because I can’t stop orbiting around you.
Hey baby/man, are you made up of dark matter? Because you’re indescribable.
I really wanna moon you so you can see my corona.
Do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world.
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark you still seem to shine.
You radiate in the shortest wavelengths I’ve ever encountered.
Hey baby/man, mind if I send my probe into your wormhole?
Mind if my comet enters your solar system?
Is that a telescope in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Hey girl/boy, are you the sun? Because you’re the centre of my universe.
Are you Saturn? Cos I’m hoping to admire your ring.
Hey girl/boy, let me orbit around that ass.
Are you a black hole? Cos I don’t think I can ever escape you.
Are you an exoplanet? Because I’m bad at astronomy and pickup lines.
How about you let me take you to the planetarium? We can learn about astronomy then afterwards maybe I can explore Uranus.
Your eyes look like dark black holes, but that’s alright because I like astronomy.
Hey beautiful! Your face is like a moon. Always glowing.
Are you Miller’s planet? Because you’re wet and I’m about to make the next hour feel like seven years.
Care to experience some thrust?
Do you also feel the strong gravitational pull of my bed?
Boy/girl are you a black hole? Cos I’m stuck in your gaping hole.
How about you and I form a binary system?
My spaceship is ready. Wanna ride?
Are you a black hole? Cos I’ve a feeling I’m gonna get sucked if I get too close to you.
Set a course for Uranus. Warp speed. Make it so.
Hey baby/dude, wanna witness a gamma ray burst?
Ever wonder what’s happening under Orion’s belt?
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.
Are you into astronomy? Because your ass is out of this world.
Baby/man, you make my telescope expand.
Kiss me, let me taste your sweet lips before your ass-teroid destroys my world.
Did you solve the gravity equation, or are you just pleased to see me?
Baby/man, you’re like a white dwarf star, extremely hot but not very bright.
Hey baby/man, how many gamma-ray bursts can your Milky Way take?
Hawking’s said a human cannot travel at the speed of light. Obviously he never saw me cum.
Nice ass-teroids.
My boxers are approaching escape velocity.
Can I be the singularity inside your supermassive black hole?
And my personal favourite:
There will only be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus.
Header Image: Nude Spying With His Telescope
